12 Things I have learned after parenting for one year and being married for 6 months…
Photography by Scott Smallin
Location: Conway, SC
I wanted to share a bit of a different post with you all on our 6 month wedding anniversary and that is 12 things I have learned about marriage and parenting:
- MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND. Life sucks sometimes, and sometimes it is really, really hard. It is so important when you have that person right beside of you who just gets it. Shawn is my person. Before we got married, I thought, if I ever have to go through anything, he is who I want right by my side 24/7 and after seeing him parent Bo with me, marrying him was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Sure, we argue and fight and I act like a spoiled brat and cause a fight here and there just to stir the pot, but at the end of the day he’s my best friend and best friends only want the best for each other.
- MAKE TIME FOR JUST YOU TWO. It is so so so important! Shawn and I always had a date night, pre-Bo. Our friends knew that when I got into town, Shawn and I were just date nighting it and thats the way it was for years. Since having Bo, we always set aside one day to go out on the boat or an evening to go to dinner at our favorite place and hang out. We are very fortunate to have some of the best people surrounding Bo that love his as much as we do, so leaving him to go out with my husband for a little while has been really easy. Plus, we both work so hard during the week, it is so nice to just put our phones away and be.
- HAVING BABIES DOESN’T MEAN YOU CANT HAVE FUN ANYMORE. This is super important as some parents can get in a rut that the fun is over. Babies are so fun and a reflection of you. Things Shawn and I used to do, we still do! We still go on the boat, we still go for walks, we still go riding around town, we still ride motorcycles, okay you get it… Life doesn’t stop when you have babies. You keep being the best, most spontaneous parent that you were before and your baby will grow up loving life as you do. Shawn and I love hanging out with each other and with Bo.
- IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO LOOK AFTER YOUR RELATIONSHIP. I often say this and I mean it. Don’t forget about your husband. Seeing Shawn as a father makes me fall even more in love with him. He is everything I imagined he would be and a million times more, but I often forget to thank him for all he does for Bo and I and constantly ask him to do more or be more even tho he has to be absolutely exhausted. I need to remember in all moments, not just when we finally sneak away for a date night, to be a little more present with him and be a little more thankful for all the crap he does for us. He provides us with so much and most of the time I take those things for granted.
- THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN YOU WANT TO QUIT IT ALL. It happens to everyone and its pretty much inevitable. You just have to keep faith and remember why you started in the first place. You marriage, your baby, your job…remember why you fell in love with him, remember that baby needs you, and remember that if you don’t love your job, do something that you do love. Life is too short and so precious.
- THERE WILL BE A LOT OF POOP. Hehe, seriously, A LOT OF POOP. But hey, you have to make compromises and one Shawn and I have made is I will change poopy diapers if he makes bottles at night time + takes the bag out of the Ubbi Diaper Pail. I personally think that one is WAAAAY worse so I will change those diapers all day long, hehe! Like I said, marriage is alllllll about compromise!
- NO BABY IS THE SAME AND NOBODY CAN TELL YOU HOW TO PARENT YOUR CHILD. Sure, you will get advice 24/7 and with Bo, we needed it, a lot of it. He cried 24/7 for the first 9 months of his life so it was exhausting and of course took a tole on Shawn and I’s relationship. He would come home with all these books and I would have all these Google articles about what to do. Of course none of it worked so it would cause us to argue because we were restless and exhausted as to why nothing was working. We finally came to the realization that while our friends all had “perfect” babies, ours was perfect too, he just wanted to be held 24/7 hehe. The day he turned 9 months old, I swear he stopped crying and is so happy now but it was moments in the first 9 months when I look back now, I am so thankful I had Shawn by my side. He was so patient with me and Bo while both of us would be crying and trying to understand why I can’t make my baby happy. Trust your gut mama, you know what is best for your baby. Not google, not friends, not books…you do. And don’t compare your baby to one on instagram or social media. 9 times out of 10 its staged-hehe and just remember, it is not a freaking competition! Your child will crawl, walk, talk, etc when he/she is ready.
- MULTITASKING IS MY JAM. Literally as I am typing this, I am feeding Bo Ranch Lil’ Crunchies, talking on the phone to my brother who is having technical difficulties at the store, changing the TV channel back to Paw Patrol, and I am cooking Bagel Bites-lets just hope they don’t burn, hehe! It is so crazy how before having a baby, I was so busy now I am like WTF was I doing then?! I wasn’t busy AT ALL! We are SO BUSY now lol! It is so crazy what you can get done in a day now AND what you can do with ONE HAND!
- BABIES DON’T NEED AS MUCH AS YOU THINK THEY DO. It’s true. Before we had Bo I had to have it all. Every gadget, cute onesie, darling pair of shoes, every brand bottle, etc. He literally needed a onesie, a couple bottles, blankets, and a soothie. Oh, and a carseat for when we went places hehe. There was so much stuff I thought we just HAD to have and ended up GIVING it away because we never ever used it. The most important thing you can give your baby is your time and your love.
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You rarely have time for anything, but don’t stop taking care of yourself. Of loving yourself too. Don’t forget who you were before you had your baby, before you got married and be that person again. Take time to get your nails done, go to lunch by yourself, spend hours wandering around Target or just using the bathroom by yourself again. Your body needs it, your mind needs it. Your husbands needs it and your baby. A happy mommy means a happy baby and a happy husband.
- YOU WILL KNOW A LOVE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER KNOWN LOVE BEFORE. Yes, you LOVE your husband. And yes, you LOVE your family. But the love you have for that little baby when they lay him/her on your chest is a love like no other. I can remember my mom telling me this and I was like yeah right, I love you so much but it is so true. Everyday with every little new thing they do is absolutely amazing-I seriously tear up at least 14 times a day. I am just so proud of him, of us.
- NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF AND YOUR MARRIAGE. YOU ARE DOING SO GOOD MAMA!
