Can we take a second to talk about blogger bullying?

I know that Twitter is where people flock to talk shit about celebrities and contestants on the Bachelor. I get it, I do. I’ve DONE it. We live in an age where everyone feels the need to share their thoughts, particularly the nasty ones, as quickly as it enters their minds. Not taking into consideration that a real person might see the snarky remark and have it hurt their feelings, damage their self-confidence, or make them doubt their self-worth.

I am a real person. I am not a celebrity, and while I do share quite a bit of my life with my followers, I don’t have a team of people around me that are paid to build me up all day to counteract some of the nastiness myself (and other influencers, this issue is not singular to me) deal with on a day to day bases.

This is a job. This is my job. I LOVE MY JOB! Y’all have become a community, a sanctuary, a second home for me. But don’t get me wrong, this is work. Every ad you see has to be submitted and approved by a PR person directly for that company. Just when you think you filmed a perfect ad you submit it and have to reshoot because the lighting was off or you didn’t hold the product up correctly. I hustle to get you guys discount codes. I spend HOURS a day creating content, finding new outfits, blogging, responding to DM’s, editing, organizing giveaways… it may not sound like work, but, on average, I dedicate around 14 hours a day to my “job.” And this is just my side-gig! I own a boutique (The Retail Therapist), I have 10 employees, I own a tanning salon, and, most importantly, I have an 18 month old! And it’s not like I get to go home and be done with my work, and not think about it. I am constantly trying to figure out new ways to create and share content. I’ve turned down tens of thousands of dollars in ads for products or companies I don’t believe in so you guys don’t buy things that you may hate!

I’ve received death threats, I’ve been body shamed, I’ve had people make fake accounts just to send me a hateful message. Are THOSE the opinions that really need to be shared? Is that our culture now? Spreading negativity? And doing it DIRECTLY to a person that is for sure going to see it. If you don’t like my outfit, don’t “like” it. If you don’t like what I talk about or share online, UNFOLLOW ME. Someone sent me a screenshot last week of a side by side of myself and a girl mocking my pose and outfit with the caption “Nailed it.” I was gutted. And I’m a grown woman, I cannot imagine being a teenager these days with all this negativity and online hatred. I try not to take it personally as these comments usually reflect the commentator more than it does the intended subject, but teenage Whitney? I may have never left my room again.

And everyone wants to call me out if I spell something wrong or post a sarcastic poll about cleaning my house versus going on a boat/spending time with my family. (Also got some REAL nasty messages about my child not being in a life jacket that day… I can’t even go down the mom-shaming rabbit hole right now). Let’s not forget about that time I shared a few designer dupes of bags/purses and almost deleted all of my social media because of the backlash. *News flash: not everyone can/wants to buy $3000 purses! Shocking, I know.

I know this post isn’t going to change the internet. More than likely, I’ll get double the comments saying, “then why don’t you find another job,” from people missing the point completely. BUT CAN WE NOT JUST SUPPORT OTHER WOMEN INSTEAD OF TRYING TO TEAR THEM ALL DOWN? If I can prevent one screenshot sent to someone else for the pure purpose of ridicule I feel like I’ve succeeded.

We can’t make everyone happy, but maybe can we try to go back to the kindergarten mantra of “if you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say anything at all!”